A Social Truth That Can Set You Socially Free

LOOKING into his eyes, I saw it. He is a confident, mature young man; a leader comfortable in himself. No real visible fear in him.

Yet, there was a glimpse into his very human heart that showed me we have the capacity to draw social confidence from this truth: every person, no matter how confident they appear, is vulnerable to rejection.

We know it as we understand ourselves. We all crave acceptance. We’ll all driven to comparison. We may falsely believe we’re alone in our disadvantage; that nobody else feels quite as vulnerable as we do. It’s a lie. Change anyone’s circumstances to the negative and their light darkens. They enter a turmoil any human being finds challenging. And it’s their character that determines their response.

As we encounter our fellow human being, male or female, old or young, advantaged or disadvantaged, we encounter someone like us. We’re more the same than we’re different.

As we look into another person’s eyes, curious to peer into the windows of their soul, inherently interested in them, we can gain confidence that we are in fact encountering a form of ourselves.

Because they’re human and we too, also, are human, we grasp how tenuous interaction is – we know we can upset them as they too might be able to upset us. See how all people are vulnerable? See how our fear for upsetting people is our acknowledgement that they’re vulnerable – that we’re not the only vulnerable ones.

We all have the capacity for fear because we all need to love and be loved. Understand this about the person we’re anxious with and suddenly we’re less anxious.

Social anxiety builds when we magnify our vulnerabilities and lessen another’s. But we are all vulnerable.

Letting Go and Starting Afresh

When I was living in the Algarve, Portugal I had the opportunity of going on a Vision Quest. We were taken to a rugged area in the vicinity of Loulé and each of us set off in the direction that called to us. Even though we were physically quite close to each other, because of all the large rocks in the region it felt like we were completely alone.

I sat down quietly and waited for my message. After some time a bee flew past and alighted on a nearby flower. I watched this bee intently while it was going about its business and came to realise that it never alighted on a dead flower – only on the live ones. I got to thinking about human behaviour and came to the conclusion that we could learn a lot from bees.

How often do we hold onto dead relationships, jobs and situations – always hoping that they will change, when in fact we should be thanking them for the learning, letting go and walking away – dashing off to embrace new relationships and learning.

How much pain do we cause ourselves through this process of holding on, and to what advantage? Holding onto the past not only keeps us in a painful state, but it stunts our growth – both physically and spiritually.

I have stopped sending Christmas cards. This has always been a December ritual, though for the past few years it hasn’t really resonated with me at all. However, this year every fibre of my being rebelled against this habit of mine! I had this heightened sense of dread – which seemed excessive for something as trivial as writing cards, but was really about something much deeper going on in my psyche. The truth is that some of the people I sent cards to I don’t even know anymore. It’s a once a year friendship – habit forming on both sides I would think. Fundamentally, dead relationships!

Instead, I phoned a few friends on Christmas Day and they were both delighted and surprised to hear from me. I will be contacting others in January and suggesting that we reignite our friendships – have conversations throughout the year, keeping up on what is happening in each others lives. Our friendships will either change and grow into something new, or fade away if we find that we no longer have anything in common, but at least there will be active movement, rather than holding onto the past, which is long gone and stagnant.

This decision has left me feeling lighter and freer – I have dispensed with an action which was tethering me to having to do a certain thing at a certain time. I don’t know about you, but I am craving freedom of action and expression more and more these days – in line with the planetary changes which are in full swing. These are interesting times indeed!

I wish you all a very happy letting go period and may all the flowers that you land on be live ones!

Have you let go of anything recently which had become an uncomfortable habit?

Sue is the Founder of Soulfully Connecting. The idea behind Soulfully Connecting is to demonstrate that there are other ways of living which can heal the earth, the animal kingdom and ourselves. She is passionate about people having freedom of choice, which is only possible when they know about all the options.

10 Tips To Creating An Memorable Wedding Reception

The most memorable wedding reception is seldom the most expensive, the most elaborate, or the most time consuming, but more likely involves the most forethought and planning. Our experts have a talent for finding what matters most and including with that the most significant memory making event for each couple.

  1. Plan an Eventful Wedding – oh the excitement of a wedding that recognizes grandparents, parents, and other life long relationships! What about planning your amazing great day on the anniversary of a grandparent? Invite the Grandparents to stand at the head table with the Bride and Groom, and celebrate their day with era themed music and dances.
  2. Combine a Holiday Celebration – Christmas will never be the same again, and nobody will ever forget your anniversary when you combine your day with a Holiday. And the decor? It’s all a flutter of the holiday, combined with wedding bells, lace, and white satin. What could be better? Can you define the holiday without your wedding party?
  3. Set a Theme to Celebrate – Seasonal or an era, themes can be a fun way to add memorable content and even a time-stamp to a wedding. Perhaps, the era of the Bride and Groom’s birth?
  4. Black Tie & Masquerade – pull all your plans together for a masquerade ball, and present the most mysterious with a fun prize for their costume. One of my favorite blends this formal event with ‘famous couples’ and combines the winning musical selections with a magical theme of great music.
  5. Casual Afternoon Tea – a quartet of stringed instruments performing as the sun dips low in the western skies might be a better choice for the most casual, yet memorable event. Entice the rain with some rainmaker tunes.
  6. Breakfast with Strollers – when the coffee is hot, the air offers a chill of early morning, and the musicians are strolling through the audience, what could be more memorable at your wedding reception than musicians playing the early hours?
  7. Big Band Era Music and Dancers – wedding attendance can be even more fun when everyone dances, but if your attendees aren’t dancers, perhaps dancers on the stage can give them a few tips and ideas. Inspiring a line dance, or group dance might be a good option, if you want more action among guests, but any big band era music dances can be fun for multiple age groups.
  8. Cover Band Entertainment – current tunes, selected for the many hours of memories stirred with words, music, and hours of together time, making life better before, during, and after the wedding. A selection of popular tune might inspire dancing feet.
  9. Specialty Show Stoppers – showcase a favorite singer, the look-a-like tribute artist sends out memory making show tunes from talented featured singers.
  10. Memory Making Moments – whether your music is relevant or classic, the tunes you showcase at your wedding will be the most remembered music of your life. I still know every single word to ‘The Rose’ and ‘Ever Green’ even 35 years after the fact

Simple Selection Tips To Look Glamorous In Your Wedding Gown

The bride is always the center of attraction in any wedding and the wedding dress the major highlight. The truth is that as a bride you will be remembered as much as your gown is and you therefore want to be stunning on your big day. Weddings are happy events that bring lots of excitement, especially for a newly wed couple. With so many gown options and designers out there, it really can’t be that hard to look beautiful. Below are a few simple but very helpful tips that will ensure you look glamorous in your gown on your wedding day.

Tip 1 – Choose comfort before anything else

You will be wearing your gown for the most part of the ceremony and you need to be at your most comfortable. A comfortable bride is a happy and beautiful bride. As far as comfort goes, the fabric that you select take center stage. Different bridal fabrics are suitable for different gown styles and will give different levels of comfort. It is also important to remember that whereas some fabrics are best for spring weddings, others will make the best choices for summer whereas others are suitable for any given season. Make sure you know all about the fabric options and select accordingly with comfort on your mind above everything else.

Tip 2 – Go for embroidered gown

Wedding dress styles are numerous, but unlike back in the days when plain solid colors were the in thing, you can choose a fancy embroidered gown to stand out on your big day. Sequins, beads and silky threads can all be used for the embroidery to give different looks and feels to the gown and you can have them down in a style that works for your body shape. You can make the work easier by choosing embroidered bridal fabrics that are decorated partially or all-over depending on your personal preferences. You can also decide to go with bridal lace fabrics that are also embroidered to look gorgeous.

Tip 3 – Choose the perfect neckline for your body type

Just like choosing any other outfit, your body type should guide you to the best. The neckline is one of the major areas that you need to pay attention to if at all you are to get a dress that works for you. When it comes to wedding gowns, the most beautiful necklines are off shoulder, high neck and deep V necklines. What suits one body type may not be as flattering for the other. For instance, apple shaped women look very good in deep V-necklines over the high necked ones. Know your body type first and what neck style suits it best and then make the right decision.

Tip 4 – Play with the color a little

Whereas white still makes the most popular and traditional color for the wedding gown you can still stand out by adding a little color to your gown. Other bridal colors that you can pull off gorgeously are celestial blue, rose pink, ivory and champagne.